Alicia Keys, whose whiny tune “No One” gives me massive diarrhea every time I hear it, told Blender magazine, “‘Gangsta rap’ was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other. ‘Gangsta rap’ didn’t exist.” She also said that the feud between Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. was fueled “by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing.”

OMG, 50 Cent and T-Pain better watch ouuuut! Thanks the gods Alicia Keys busted wide open this conspiracy against black leaders who can rhyme.

I always knew Alicia Keys can’t pick songs, has bad skin and the lower body shape of a rhinoceros. But I never thought she was CRAZY.

America - You think Britney is koo koo for Coco Puffs, check out your girl Alicia.